Christian Recovery

Defeating negative thinking

23/02/2026

11 How do you get past negative thoughts in your head?  Discuss what negativity breeds in life.      By Graham Hevey

Throughout much of the day negativity, stress and worry gathered around me like members of the same gang, all wearing similar jackets with the word fear written on the back. I struggled with such demons, because they were initiating me as a member. They niggled and eventually buried me amongst the shadows like walking down a dark alley moving further and further away from the light.

I can deal with this was drummed into me when all I needed to do was admit that I couldn’t, as a start anyway.

Before ending my search with Jesus, I began my day with all kinds of negative thoughts, which bred failure as my lot.

Nowadays it seems rather strange, thinking back, that I took on my negative attitude like a sparring partner squaring up to a full-length mirror readying for today’s fight. With only myself in the room, taking my stance with a deep breath before looking at my reflection, and off I’d go readying to tackle the day. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do, battle our demon’s day by day?

‘Ok, I can do this’, and with clenched white knuckles I’d carry on and on telling myself of all the things I could do rather than listening to my head telling me of all the things I couldn’t.

A new day with everyday battles raging in my head,..again.

It was going to be fine,..eventually.

I had a counsellor guiding me toward positive ways of thinking, so I thought!

Ground hog mornings, here we go again!

Sometimes while wrestling with my-self, my lips would move slightly to the rhythm of my thoughts! Overthinking of some sort I suppose. A few times a close friend approached me to explain, ‘hey, you are talking to yourself’.

“Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me! (Romans 7: 20-23)

To get rid of the negativity I decided to seek out professional psychological help. Paying for professional counselling certainly worked for a while, until I read an article about how paying money makes us insistent that our counselling sessions are working, even when they’re not we convince ourselves otherwise. Buyer’s remorse is simply denied by those who are already filled with thoughts that everything is wrong anyway. Surely, we must get something right!! It’s far easier to boast that your counsellor is simply brilliant and how s/he says stuff that is just dandy.

We can boast further how we found such a clever professional person through a particular set of clever friends that we met in a place where cleverness is expected, and much of the time pretended. It seemed all I spoke back then was utter nonsense, like for example, telling friends in the pub how I met intellectual friends in the library; and I wondered why my boozy friends of yesteryear threw back their heads in laughter.

The primary idea offered by professional counsellors is to teach how we can live with negative thoughts by swashbuckling them into some kind of positive shape.

To be honest, none of my counselling sessions worked in the slightest.

The Scriptures on the other hand describe how a change of heart equals a conversion within the core centre of a person. Without the ability to recognize real spiritual freedom, how are we to know what to expect?

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5: 17)

It’s rather like emptying out all those negative mental pockets that we have tucked away in the labyrinth of our minds. We then cash them in for a new set of thoughts withdrawn from God’s bank, which is stored up with an abundance of love, faith, hope and all the fruits of the Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galations 5: 22-23)

To walk in a bank hoping for a solution on how to pay our creditors, only to walk out free of all debts. That’s the Jesus bank. That’s what He does, frees us from debt (sin)

We cannot therefore accept negative depression at all as our own special case illness, as I did. We must give up this sickness to God via our fellow Christians and feel it dissolve into the atmosphere. We must talk depression to death where we can awake hand in hand with the resurrection of Jesus Christ. God can handle such a negative energy far better than we can. You can start by taking your mind back to when you were last free from any defective or negative thoughts.

          He called a little child to him and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me” (Matthew 18:1–5)

It was through scripture, which initially was read aloud by other Christians, where hope and love was delivered until I could feed myself the word of truth.

So clean house! Make a clean sweep of malice and pretense, envy and hurtful talk. You’ve had a taste of God. Now, like infants at the breast, drink deep of God’s pure kindness. Then you’ll grow up mature and whole in God.
(1 Peter 2: 1-3)

Keeping with the faith and to clean house so to speak, we must discuss with one another about any negative doubts that we may have. Always remember that the demonic self will return with 7 friends more wicked that the last.

When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.” (Luke 11: 24-26)

We must remain amongst Christians, read Scripture, and be part of a church where the love of God is realized through Jesus, Amen.

When reading the Bible further, I often come across scripture that reminds me of my past, like when paying the counsellor, what was I really looking for? The truth will set you free was still far from my grasp.

Peter answered: “May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord in the hope that he may forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin (Acts 8: 20-23)

When approached by a Christian colleague who saw, before my journey to faith, that I was captive to my bitter self, he explained selflessly that perhaps I could take on board some help from his church friends who would guide me to faith, or at least away from my thinking. My answer however was to boast on social media how I unfriended that colleague who failed to accept me on face value, for who I am, or was. It is rather uncanny how the very person who vexed my Spirit is the friend I got rid of. Say ‘nice things’ or jog on was my stance.

Looking back, all I wanted was to change my way of thinking for another way that I may think, if that makes sense. Rather like taking a different path one day, only to find that that walk too has its problems.

Fine, I’ll just take many different paths where I could skate around the surface of society looking down each avenue while toying with varying groups and counsellors alike. Always moving on, particularly after noticing that Christians appear to empathize more meaning when they ask ‘how are you’? They look at you in freeze frame and wait for an answer further than the word ‘fine’. Christians, I found shortly before I became one, made for awkward moments without feeling the awkwardness themselves. The Christian, on most accounts, failed to acknowledge the clumsiness in me and carried on with their thoughtful and meaningful approach. They seemed to stand firm and stare right at me with clear, pleasant and sparkling eyes. ‘How are you’? which would make me fold and, after a few minutes of stillness, spill out my ‘stuff’ that was in my garbage truck head

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love (1 Corinthians 16: 13-14)

Every Sunday I would be invited to the smaller house groups that the church held during the week where the scriptures would be discussed. After agreeing, I would fail to turn up. One day however, I arrived to one particular house group and I’ve never looked back. The group prayed for me with hands on and something hit me hard, like a gravity making me sit down, where I simply could not get up out of my seat for around two hours. When I did finally stand, I never really felt quite right to drive home. Being drunk with the Holy Spirit changed my life Amen. Thanks be to God that was over twenty years ago.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:1-2)

The truth is, I never planned or expected that to happen, which intrigues me still to this day. Having never experienced such things how could I pretend something so alien to me. This was not a case of ‘fake it to make it’. This was a real happening that had no planning from my part at all. To act out such a moment is doable but acting was not the case. It is not in my nature to act out such an impression, it just happened.

Before meeting with Christ the self-invented me took on counselling, reading inspirational books, lighting spiritual candles and even attempted meditation and some kind of prayer, which allowed me to have a spiritual opinion that rebutted my search for the truth. Joining a 12 step ‘spiritual but not religious’ camp gave me intellectual instructions on how to rid myself of this nagging pessimism that was staining my mind. Ofcourse nothing happened, how could it? Who on earth was I praying to, I have no idea? These kind but lost souls were professional people who, like me, lacked the ability to deal with such negative vibes that were being deposited by us all. We only feigned love and positivity. Arguments evolved where cracks appeared in our so-called spiritual armour, and we had nothing to fill it with. There were many Goliaths and no David. No one to throw stones to break down our egoic attitudes.

Our bookshelves lacked sufficient literary and scriptural support too. For such a small group of desperados we needed much more than the so called spiritual and self-help books that we borrowed from each other.

After years of searching and finding very little, my negativity began to weigh me down like I had to contend with more gravity than the rest of us. It hunched me over, made me look at the ground much of the time. To be sure, I used to find coins because my head was always looking down at the pavement.

While amongst the intellectuals and spiritualists I imagined myself in the fields of tranquillity under the DVD sound of running water. On one occasion my so-called spiritual friends hired a church hall to spread the word of their delightful findings in hope to invite people to dance with the real spirit, whatever that was. We grew to around 15 of us who banged the drum, literally, and lit candles and hummed to songs about earth, water and fire. It all got too much for me and another person who was there. We both ran out from the camp-fire while laughing hysterically, like lost hyenas. I became physically and mentally sick and fortunately never returned. During this episode God was looking after me and I never even knew.

Throughout this search the professional counsellors also tried their utmost to show interest and constantly surprised me with their very clever sentences that really meant nothing after only a few days, even after a few moments some were forgotten already.

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”(1 Corinthians 13: 1)

The following day I could hardly remember what they had said at all. The narrative therefore was flimsy, which allowed me to keep my distance and play around with what-ever concepts we focused upon on any given day. Rules, drink diaries, busy days with outings, library visits and a lists of things to do would help me add structure to my life, so they honestly believed. In our groups we were told to lose our negative thoughts by, say, concentrating on a flower for example. Really, trying to find room for a flower in my junk yard head that was crammed full to breaking point with my own dysfunctional thoughts. How can I then think of a flower with all else disturbing my mind?

Without having Jesus shift my consciousness there was scant chance of any light entering into the equation to keep the flower alive.

The truth be known, most of the spiritualists and counsellors concentrated on the negative thoughts themselves being the adverse energy source within the person. Negativity therefore equals energy. In truth however, the destructive energy comes from a much deeper source that cannot be controlled or indeed contained, by our own good ideas. The negativity is not the energy itself, only the results of the energy within. Countering negative thought cannot be achieved by attempting to replace them with flowering positive thoughts no matter how much you try. I am not fooled anymore! Like my shadow boxing we spent so much time fighting our own ego, which paradoxically is the energy that would have killed us. To be-rid ourselves of negative thoughts our egos must be obliterated, which is the part we cannot do in totality without God. To release ourselves from all our past failures and future impossibilities we must look to God and seek out His help.

“But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic”. (James 3: 14-15)

“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you”. (1 Peter 5: 10)

God’s word is filled with truth and life. When in and amongst the Bible we can find who we actually are and what we can amount to with His power. Therefore, we must constantly meditate on His word and use it to fight any negativity that resides in us. The power of God is far more resilient than anything our heads can gather up. When using the Word of God as a weapon to fight back we will win our minds back. Rely on Him who has all knowledge and power and He will get your thinking to a far better place.

Where is the tangible evidence for this, why am I talking up such belief?

The evidence is inside a church near to where you live. Go there once and you may leave with a resentment, or not. But go again and again and eventually you will meet a small group of Christians who will guide you toward God’s thinking. You will see the world and universe and that important part that you play within it as viable and real. You will see much further than your own thinking can allow. All that ‘stuff’ you had before will leave you alone. You may get demonic attacks over the following few weeks, but stay close and speak to Christians, have scripture read to you and read yourself, receive prayer without fail and attend until you yourself can begin a small cell group to do the same for others. I pray that you do not full into the category of that special case illness where you too, as I did, think you can learn to live with it and without God.

God bless           Graham Hevey
Preface for my next book

22/02/2026

‘Christian Recovery, give us this day’

preface

‘Christian Recovery, give us this day’ is a bold name for a book, having the latter part copied straight from the Lord’s prayer. It does, however, make very clear that the book promotes one of Christianity’s fundamental doctrines, which is the principle of ‘one day at a time’. The title recognizes that having a Spiritual life based on a daily concept originates from the Scriptures. Having faith in Jesus while living a spiritual life for just ‘one day’ run alongside one another. They are inseparable.

The term ‘one day at a time’ dilutes amongst the pages of our good book the Bible from beginning to end. The daily concept resonates throughout like a Spirit all of its own. ‘Give us this day’ and ‘our daily bread’ as suggested in the Lord’s prayer, implements a major tenant of how Christianity has been sustained throughout the generations. In Genesis also, the Bible’s first book, creation is measured in days from 1 to 7. Light itself is called ‘day’.

‘God called the light day, and the darkness He called night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day’. (Genesis 1: 5)

Within each day the varying forms of life were manifested by Gods’ creative power and ends with the same term ‘And there was evening, and there was morning, the second day’. This concept continues until the seventh day where God rested to admire His good works. There are further Biblical days that are relevant throughout the Bible. In Preparation Day for example, God allows the people to gather just enough bread (manna) for each day. (Exodus 16: 4-5) On the sixth day however, God tells them to gather twice as much in preparation for the seventh day, on which they were instructed to rest. The day before a Sabbath is therefore called Preparation Day. A great example of what we can ‘prepare today’ that would help us with our tomorrows.

What is in store for you regarding your true potential and the opportunities that arise are governed by what you do today. The term ‘tomorrow’ is something that is distant from our newfound spiritual world, a distant place we are no longer in fear of, a place that never really arrives. When the clock strikes midnight, it is today again! Jesus tells us;

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”. (Matthew 6: 34)

Asking God to remove all your maladjustments before the day is out and making restitution to whoever is paramount not only to all kinds of recovery, but to maintain our Christian growth too. Redemption is a spiritual feeling that allows you to walk toward wherever it is you are heading with purpose and fortitude. No more searching in on your own thoughts, histories and resentments. Jesus tells us that we must redeem and forgive.

“But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment”. (Mathew 5: 22)

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift”. (Mathew 5: 23-24)

Finding truth in Scripture annihilates our hand to mouth existence, which is paramount to our new daily way of living. Freeing ourselves is an explosion that breaks down all our old ways of how we used to live. The barriers that entangled us will soon be no more. God makes that happen. Once the liberation offered by Jesus has taken hold, once you have released your inventory to the spirit of truth, we then build futures and friendships together while we read, study and meditate on the Scriptures every day of our new lives.

I sought the Lord, and He answered me
and delivered me from my fears.
(Psalm 34: 4)

To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4: 22-24)

What is ‘sin’
In 2007 the word ‘sin’ was taken out of the Junior Oxford English Dictionary due to its lack of use. Christians complained, stating that Jesus died for our sins, which means this decision to rebuke this small 3 letter word counters the fact that Jesus died for us, making His efforts futile. Although the word sin is important in the Christian dialogue, the Bible tells us that Jesus died for our iniquity, depravity, debauchery, evil, wickedness, indulgences and by revoking God’s law, which are all sin. Jesus explains;

He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” (Mark 7: 20-23)

Many of us applied these heinous crimes against God with impunity regardless of the terminology used we flung ourselves at the bar with ease. To be sure, in all the following Biblical quotes therefore, the word ‘sin’ on many accounts has been changed to ‘alcohol’ ‘obsession’ ‘drugs’ ‘addiction’ and certain other words that assimilate our afflictions, or sins if you prefer. The word sin can therefore be translated to capture a deeper meaning of what the word actually means.

In the Preface of the NIV we are told that the goal of the translators is to enable English speaking people to read God’s eternal word, and continues to explain;

“The work of translating The Bible is never finished. As good as they are, English translations must be regularly updated so that they will continue to communicate accurately the meaning of God’s word”. (NIV Preface pX1V)

When you read Saint Paul’s quotes within this book for example, you’ll see a more personalized wording that the addict can identify with, rather than a three-letter word we know as ‘sin’. Sin is simply a violation of divine law, in whatever form that appears. It often refers to actions, thoughts and behaviours that go against God’s commandments. When an addict returns to their mind-altering substance that had almost destroyed them, rest assured there is certainly no room in their thinking for God. I am hoping to create a more personalized letter from God to the addict and those who suffer from all kinds of self-delusion.

This book also tackles morality and atheism head on without reservations. Morality interchanges within a society that may not succumb to the Christian faith, which creates problems for the individual who is searching spiritual enlightenment. A so called greater good and national pride enter into our thinking when Christian morality leaves the building. The Book of James takes the moral argument to extremes suggesting we should “get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you”. (James 1: 21). The word referred to here is the Word of God.

Atheism and morality alike are both limited. Moralism, if you like, is also strongly linked to pride, which comes before a fall. “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16: 18). Atheism, too, has no agenda, anchor, narrative or rules that can help those who are careworn. Atheism is a direct assault on faith, so much so that the term anti-Christ could be used to affirm recent accounts of how the Bible, Jesus and the Christian faith have been ridiculed, belittled and attacked by famous atheists. On YouTube we can see the Bible being paraded on a stage by a famous comedian who suggested ‘Darwin is watertight’ and continued to mock and scold the Biblical stories of talking serpents and the age of the earth. To oppose Christianity further, the atheist advocate science as man’s great achievement, evoking the idea that we need any kind of Spiritual leadership. Make your choice says the atheist, science or faith? Principal Christian concepts on the other hand suggest that God created an orderly, finely tuned universe and that humans were made in His image and character, which suggests creativity is one of the basic principles of humanity. The creative notion God planted within us, which makes us like Him, and provides a strong theological basis for empirical investigation and science. God creates, therefore so do we. To ask how, why, what and when are the fundamentals of freedom, which is bound up in Christ. To be sure, this book is inspired by Scripture, where there is no error, and does not incorporate that science and theology are locked-in a never-ending battle of the super intellectuals, which causes division. Scientists may review, research, discuss and even conclude their opinions on addiction, but the answers are shortcoming and limited. Annulment with a substance of some sort is their primary answer. The answer that this book suggests however, is in Jesus and His word, and also with the doctor who promotes Christian fundamentals where the addict can gather in groups to discuss their inner most fears and trepidations. We do oppose the doctor who annuls the patient with mind altering drugs. Having witnessed this firsthand, be rest assured that the mental health expert cannot forgive in the same way Jesus can, and that those annulling drugs simply get in the way of spiritual wellness. Jesus can forgive where the scientist cannot forgive equals you can get well under the realm of faith, which is the bottom line Amen.

In ‘The Fear Energy’ chapter we see that fear is an external force that resides in us all. Fear moves in and takes over. Jesus counters fear with direct orders telling the fear itself, like He would a person, to leave those that it inhabits. Jesus also says ‘fear not’ and ‘have faith’. Fear, like a bad person, is challenged and sent packing on a constant basis throughout the Bible. There are many books out there that look at how we change our minds from one mentality to another, from self to God, or in chains to freedom or from poor to rich. Very few books, however, suggest that a speedy irreversible change can take place where one set of self-styled words are replaced by another set of God words and how this change makes such a vast difference in a person’s life. Words placed in the correct order help us make up rules, laws and Spiritual entities. To take this one step further, the right words offer Truth, Spirit, Faith and above all Love, which takes us even further into the universal spirit of Jesus and away from the mundane rules, laws and psychologies that fail to see the spiritual depths needed to maintain recovery. After all, Jesus was ‘The word made flesh’ (John1: 14). When under the realms of the Spirit, we find that the law becomes natural where we, for example, drive without always being in a hurry, cross the road at the green signal and queue wherever in peace. The law naturalizes itself in calmness while we search for the super-natural spirit. The search for the super-natural may take time, but the immediate decision can happen in the briefest of moments where the time it takes to change can hardly be measured. When we take Steps 1 to 5 change happens in that moment, and we move on in God’s path and away from our own. We learn with peace of mind and give thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ, and we continue growth in Step 6.

The 6 Step programme from within this book is saturated with Scripture, which is where the steps originate from. The idea of admitting powerlessness or weakness is another premise of Christianity. There are many stories where weak people became strong, where nobody became somebody, once they found their faith. With Christ we achieve a lasting recovery where we are cured of our ailments and addictions. The Scriptures provide us with a spiritual, structured path for self-examination, accountability and continues to guide us to serve Jesus Christ as we go forward and grow in His word Amen.
God promises a new heart through Jesus

01/02/2026

18. God promises a new heart. How does this happen? What is He referencing? How can you pray that someone with a hardened heart reaches repentance? How can God soften someone’s heart? Incorporate this with forgiveness.

_____________________________________________________________________________

A leather-bound Bible was hurled through the air, and after hitting the edge of a table, it fell to the floor. I glanced under the table and saw its flimsy pages flap open and flutter until they stilled like a dying bird laying on its back. While I stared, there seemed to be a hint of life in this book called the Bible, which I had never read. No one was struck down by lightning, and we all managed to avoid plagues, at least I believe so.

This simple 3 second episode happened at East London University in 1999. I was a mature student studying for my literature degree. It was the professor who threw the Bible. Before my studies I was a bricklayer working hard on building sites throughout London, until a searing pain in my back called sciatica struck me down, which gave me no choice but to search out a new career. When looking at the Bible taking its last breath while it lay upturned and spread eagled on the floor, my mind flashed back to my local sweet shop, as a much younger boy, while holding my big sister’s hand.

“You can have sweets from the penny box over there” she said while my gaze was firmly fixed on the larger chocolate bars that were leaning just out of reach.

“Can have one of those”

“No, come on choose we haven’t got all day”. After making my choice we left the shop where I was more upset than when I walked in.

The situation while sat around a large table at university was similar. There it was, something I desperately needed (the Bible), which was just out of reach, for the moment anyway.

The professor had told us that we must pick a narrative from the table that had shaped society; and discuss. On the table there was approximately 25 books to choose from. The books had been tipped from a box by the professor before the lesson began. Being put in groups of four we were given an hour to present our case on why these narratives are so important to society. The books on the table were from Shakespeare, Darwin, Freud, Marx, Jung, Austen, Dickens, the Bible and more grand narratives that I fail to remember. On seeing the Bible the professor said ‘who put that there’ and with anger he threw it across the table. Similar to the sweet shop it seemed when something is placed out of reach, I just want it more.

The professor did me a favour that day, it was clear that the Bible had a living power after all, making him behave like that. How could a man with such standing in our community do such a thing? What repelled him to act that way? Maybe it was more than just a book after all, with all that repellent energy puppeteering the professor.

My re-birth and search for a new heart began that day, although I never knew this at the time, it’s only when looking back I can see the whole picture. The spark was cracked from an angry professor throwing a Bible, and so within a few weeks I picked it up and started reading. Just like those chocolate bars the Bible was now within my grasp.

It didn’t take much reading before I realised that to understand Gods word, I would need guidance. To have Jesus transplant a new heart could only be achieved by those that already have new hearts put in place by the Spirit of Truth. To be around people that knew the scriptures and how to take a fledgling like me through the good book with a loving and faithful understanding of the Word was paramount.

As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

(Romans 10: 15)

At the time there seemed to be something so utterly different from my own Bible reading to having the words spill out of the mouth of a mature Christian, either male or female. It really was identical to early morning bird song. The Alpha course meant nothing at all until maturity took the stand where the versus came alive, literally with a heartbeat all of its own. It appears rather like when musical notes are played in the wrong order, then nothing makes sense. We press our palms to our ears. Played in the right order by a musician however, we can feel the beat. When we learn to see that Biblical words are all in place as God had intended them to be, total coherence and oneness with the universe takes place. We sit back and listen, learn and finally read and consume. We are all in rhythm with His voice.

Jesus said “where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them” (Mathew 18: 20).

The most mature of the group is not always the eldest, as in physical age, but was certainly bound in wisdom, which is a large part of the ingredient needed to sustain spiritual growth for new seekers of the Word.

That’s the Bible, where the words become tangible and alive transforming a human being from death to life, which is the change of heart. We are turned inside out. It is the re-birth and baptism that Jesus tells us about.

In John 3: 1-3 we are told

Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him.”

³Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.”

The re-birth was painful, but with joy beyond measure at the end, which paradoxically was my new beginning, if you get my drift. Pain, I found out, was a touchstone to growth. To talk, declare or be resolute about anything was easy with words alone, but to feel those words deep within was the hard part, and confessing my sins or defects was certainly not stress-free either. These discussion regarding the self always materialized during the Bible study, it was how we grassed up our sin, our histories.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1: 2-3)

There is a difference to what we say comparing to what we actually mean from the heart, which is the symbolic base of all emotions. Life becomes full and justified through the depth of God’s word, which can only be loved into place by consuming Jesus on the cross.

During our prayer meeting one young lady received prayer and had changed, or was born again if you prefer, in one night never to drink again. I myself never took another sleeping tablet, or pills to put a swerve on my alcoholism, it all stopped with a change of heart that became shaped and filled with God’s word. It all stopped when the Bible started a new tempo in my very being.

The new heart transplant boomed a new story in my chest. I hope one day to look under a microscope to see the infinitesimal atoms that I breath in are formed like micro letters, all travelling around my body in the shape of the right words being placed in the right order by the Holy Spirit. Jesus was the Word made flesh (John 1), which allows my heart to be made up of His words Amen.

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
(Hebrew 4: 12-13)

When asked what happened to me and how do I look so different? I always point toward Jesus, then suggest for those who ask to find a home group from within a solid church where a small assembly can meet up weekly to study God’s word, to pray and have fellowship with other Christians.

Re-learning is key, and to do this we must listen like a child first in school.

He called a little child to him and placed the child among them. ³And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. (Mathew 18: 2-3)

My inner self had been refreshed, so I was in one sense running along on childish fears. With a feeling of exposure like being stripped where the cold wind bites hard at your skin. It is certainly not good to remain in this exposed state for long, so best get on with your studies and re clothe yourself in God’s garments.

In the Old Testament people often vented grief by tearing their clothes. They felt destined to give to God and others around them a show detailing how upset they were about their sin. God however, cared more that they grieved from within their hearts to the point of weeping and mourning.

When the Lord calls to Israel, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” (Joel 2: 12-13)

Looking up to Jesus and ripping a garment now-a-days would certainly not make a squat of difference, other than make Him roll His eyes perhaps. Would He mouth the words with exaggerated lip movements while pointing His loving finger at you “I can see your heart, you must repent”?

To be sure, you will find many Christians who clothe theirselves in Christ and through them we can all find a place to atone our sinful nature. You give them your old words and ways, and they will guide you toward the fruits of the Spirit.

But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. (Luke 8: 15)

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God (collosians 3: 16-17)

When we seize the rebellion and break from the flesh and draw in the Spirit, we find that the power many people had had over us throughout our lives dissipates into thin air. Resentments are no longer re-sent by the devil. It just happens without any help from us, it is God working within. Never again do I forgive with white knuckled prayer, but pray for my attackers with ease in hope that they never harm another soul. In my prayer I ask

“God, give those that beat me peace so that they never hurt another person. Lord let them breath in what you breath out”.

It really is that easy, but we must remember that to grow in Gods word Jesus told us to gather together, but also to pray alone. When we are amongst mature Christians we grow, but when alone our prayers can resonate from a more genuine heart.

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (Mathew 6: 6)

Thank you: Graham Hevey
My First Book

18/12/2025

Lost For Words, faith and th 12 step program

This is a genuine review on Amazon.

“This is a superb book that looks at the post-modern theories of our time, such as Marxism, Freudian, Darwinism and Jungism and asks what exactly do they have to offer for an individual seeking spiritual enlightenment. After God ‘stopped’ existing in the lives of individuals these ‘man-made’ theories were supposed to provide us with the knowledge that we needed to live our lives to the fullest. Sadly, for many of us this hasn’t happened and there is a sense that our intellect alone won’t provide us with what we need in order to find true meaning in our lives. In the pages of Hevey’s book you will find something of the human spirit and the acceptance that whilst science can save us physically, it cannot save our soul”
Why Christians should not support abortion?

18/12/2025

(Yes, Roe v. Wade was overturned by the U.S. Supreme Court on June 24, 2022. While this is a new begining for some, there is still a long way ahead)

They’ve missed the point on abortion, all of them have dropped a clanger. Our politicians, barristers, lawyers, judges, scientists, doctors and more have missed that core centre of truth like springing an arrow blind folded hoping to pierce the apple in two. Pulling the blind fold off after a shot, quickly in anticipation to see where the arrow had landed, and we deflate when we see that the legal spear of our destiny is nowhere to be seen and the skin of the apple had not been pierced at all. We trust our professional classes to get it right, about life at least. When all along they pretend to see and explain the truth with their long-winded white papers. Heads in the sand again, oh well! Keep the blind fold on and dream of what may happen one day in utopia.

How on earth does this happen, when God gave us spiritual insight for a reason, which allows us to see and question what we are doing, or not doing. When our tall stone statue like giant judges get it so dreadfully wrong it’s time for the placard waving brave hearts to go it alone, again. When refusing to see the damaged caused by the stray arrow, the blindfold is replaced over their eyes once again to aim gormlessly while draining through and re-writing the law books via intellect and what-ever else they choose for us in this secular world of ours. Saint Paul explains.

“So, my brothers and sisters, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God. For when we were in the realm of the flesh, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in us, so that we bore fruit for death. But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code” (Romans 7: 4)

For many of us it is irredeemably sad that this argument must take place at all. The Spirit of Truth Vs the law deciding on life itself. Should we argue whether a pregnant potential mother should have a baby, or not. Let us have a sterile steel table on wheels at the ready where, if she decides no we will train our most respected professional doctors to rip the baby clean out of her womb and discard it in one of those stainless-steel garbage trollies. The clean up team will then move in and sterilize the surgery, table and clean up any blood spills. They call it perioperative care, anaesthetic, surgery and recovery, according to one website that I reviewed.

But in relentless pain; we argue the case because this is the sad state of modern times where such hideous arguments must take place.

There is prayer, which helps, and we as Christian’s must pray for our legal teams to get it right, next time perhaps, but we must pray for them always. How can it be that a baby in the womb has her/his umbilical cord attached to a judge’s closing speech. Cut the cord of death or live is the question they think must have an intellectual answer, which can sway one way or another? The Bible always has reminders of what really is going on.

^“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms”. (Ephesians 6: 12)

“Can wicked rulers be allied with you, those who frame injustice by statute? They band together against the life of the righteous and condemn the innocent to death. But the Lord has become my stronghold, and my God the rock of my refuge” (Psalm 94: 19-23)

To be sure, this is the very reason why Christians have the ability to detach without fear to regroup with the power of prayer attaining our every move. We listen to our judges and we hope and pray that they too bow the knee to God, which kicks their pride into touch certainly. If they fail to do so, we still lose our fear because we look high above their heads to the real essence of what true power is and we hope that the power of God descends on such authorities like our judges and top notch lawyers. People without the Christian faith will often see those judges of high standing with such vigour, and fear, therefore lacking the ability to see any higher making our judges the ultimate authority, when they are not that at all. They have power yes, but not ultimate power like the Lord of all Amen.

Let me spell this out for you in simple terms, if that is at all possible. There is one reason why a young woman would decide on having an abortion, and that reason is FEAR. Even if the person herself fails to see it as fear, I’m afraid that’s what it is. Fear is an astonishing emotion that gets to grip with a person by slamming denial down at the table with all sorts of literary jargon that replicates the truth. Fear does not always curl you up in a corner in fright of this or that, but rather prefers you out there banging the drum like a clanging gong outside the courts hoping others will also enjoy their distorted ‘freedom’ to smash the life from a defenceless unborn baby.

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”(1 Corinthians 13: 1)

If a young expectant lady is fearful, say, of not being able to complete her degree, of not having the same potential earning capacity, of not becoming a professional lawyer, accountant, or of not going out so much anymore, of losing her magazine figure, or lacking affordability for the baby, or the father figure is missing and so on. It is this or that reason that saturates a woman with a low but vibrant energy called fear. If the fear is not removed then the abortion will happen, which too will remove fear only to replace it with a myriad of negative depressive emotions all glossed over with intellect, which makes abortion right and us Christians wrong, Oh really!

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” (Psalm 127: 3-5)

To counter fear professionals in secular society often dress up so called moral theories as an insight to how society must work to be successful. Their moral argument is clearly that we must think and be like them. If not, we find ourselves on the scrap heap. Morals stem from ‘moralis’, which is the customs and habits of a community. Customs and habits apply gravity to an individual to perform within the suggested codes that are acceptable within that community.

People from law rooms, dinner parties to pubs argue moral (and legal) definitions of the right to life or death over murderers, burglars and even old people. Why keep someone alive who’s had 5 heart attacks? Who gets to make the final decision, and where does the decision-making stop? If the potential mother cannot cope, why not do the morally correct thing and help her out by aborting her baby. She can wake up, say ‘thank you’, and go home with her moral freedom intact. Society, under the moral greater good, has performed within the law. The surgeon can go home too knowing how s/he has helped an expectant young mother from losing her degree, job or whatever it was she was afraid of.

An American friend of mine explained how she was “told” by a doctor many years ago to have an abortion due to her husband leaving her with 3 other children. She refused and today boasts her 16 year old sons achievements in her local church Amen. The moral argument here declared concern for the greater society that would have to bare the finances for her 4 children, which the doctor wanted to remain as 3. The eugenic theories often raise their ugly heads when discussing how we must benefit society in accordance of their measuring stick, otherwise we become a burden only worthy of abortion.

How ironic that the moral ground also dares to decide when a foetus becomes a person, and they govern these discussions suggesting that the various stages of growth determine the unborn child as non-human until a certain amount of time has elapsed. The beauty and greatness of how gravity interlocks all those atoms to their precise place in human development has no bearing in this argument. The time is set to kill legally, or out of time illegally. What’s the difference other than an obvious prison sentence?

To the mind of those who believe that a creator knits together each human in the womb, counting the hairs on our heads, and readying us for His plan cannot begin to think in such moral ways as when the growing baby becomes un-destroyable according to the law.

One of these diluted moral so-called realities is defined as CHOICE, as long as it is made within the said time frame you are free from being accused of murder, or at least killing a living thing.

To be sure, when fear governs there are no choices, only wordy sentences to justify the choice that the fear in you has already made for you and you never even knew. The judges have spoken to you husband, boyfriend sir/madam, wife and you are free to go. Your pound of flesh will go by way of the stainless-steel sterilized garbage tray.

You can argue your case as much as you wish, but your decision will always be based on an indescribable inner emotion that only God can deal with through the heart of a loving Christian group, preferably mothers themselves. Fear is the part that needs aborting, that should be loved right out of any young lady who is even remotely thinking of having their baby’s skull crushed and the tiny almost complete God created body ripped from their womb.

It is sad, having heard time and again how Christians, and good Christians too, have put together a “what does the Bible say about abortion” debate only to hold their chins in thought mode when the opposition intellectually obliterates them with some sort of distorted freedom view of how leaving a young lady alone to make up her own mind is sufficient for her to act upon, when it isn’t. Positive and free decisions cannot be made under the guise of cooperative fear. Take away the fear and there is no choices, only celebrations of a new-born baby

Quite often the opposition parade experts with personal to hell and back stories from which many Christians recoil. We are not to offend the person who has, so we are told, been through such a war story. Really, why not? We therefore counter the attack with embarrassing “I’ve been there too” back lashes delivered by Christians in scruffy Jeans. We fail to take on the serious challenge of moving away from a personal story and toward God’s story ending with Jesus, and not with our personal history. Christians are losing ground around the table of good personal stories to tell, because we are safe and protected under the realms of Jesus, which is our story, our truth. “Our opponents determine the battle-field because we have fallen into the trap of thinking we need to tell compelling and personal stories too” (Rev Voddie Bauchman).

What we need is God’s love being noticed and realised by a young woman who are about to abort a beautiful baby girl or boy; who can see the diamonds shine in the eyes of female mature Christian mothers who know the way out from fear to faith.

At least allow Christians from within the church a chance to talk with love and care to any woman who is determined to have the baby discarded. Unlock your doors! Must we charge amongst you to grab hold of the pregnant woman who is held tight within your earthy intellect. You feign concern knowing all along that she is a ‘customer’, without which you have no business. You need the abortion to go ahead to maintain your lifestyle.

Once released from your wordy grasp that nods in agreement to fear, we can watch a young lady grow while that low vibrant anxiety is aborted right out of her after prayer finds a foot hold within the thinking of that frightful person. Look at the change in a person while they sit amongst the more mature Christian woman who are loaded with the Holy Spirit, allowing the words to over-flow with sun drenched clear water that springs from their mouths like a fountain of truth. Jesus told us.

^“but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4: 13-14)

Often a young pregnant woman may seek out some kind of professional help only to hear “you go girl” choices being enhanced in her head, which of course lacks the fundamental Spirit that will give her the change of heart she so desperately needs, and is often denied access to by very clever professionals.

Jesus can do this; He can help you remove the fear, therefore allowing your change of mind to happen naturally. The change is no longer a thought process but once the fear is removed the freedom then to charge forward into full flight pregnancy is taken without any argument winning schemes. The vote ‘I’m right your wrong’ attitude does not matter one iota here. The words on the placard are brushed away by the loving breath of God. The Bible tells us about fear and love having no place in the same room, meaning in the same head.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4: 16-18)

Having a baby often produces a special and perfect love between a mother and baby that only they both and God truly understands. This love is of course disrupted by thoughts of all sorts of potential and future failures that haunt many of us, which is fear. When finding a church it is the fear that you leave at the door, and it is the love of God that you take with you once you start studying the word of truth. We are pulled out of the trap that tells us how important our stories are, and focusses our attention on His story about defeating death and resurrecting life into the very womb where all our lives began, Amen and God bless.

Graham Hevey
I saw Terry today

17/12/2025

I saw Terry today, he looked awful. He appeared to be wandering around inside the selfish maze of his own head. Rest-assured, Terry’s head is not a good place to be. Passing him by in the busy Southend-On-Sea High Street I could see his eyes were glazed over with an angry, vacant inward stare. He never noticed me at all, even though I said ‘hi’ with a raised open palm while our shoulders almost brushed one another. Watching him walk by it seemed all those thoughts that filled his head made his lips move slightly. Mumbling to himself, sorting out yesterday’s ills and today’s impossibilities.

Terry is a homeless alcoholic; he is 28 years old. I certainly know how he thinks and how he copes. His utter distaste to the clinical world where everyone nowadays has the ability to fill out forms, open bank accounts, and a Face Book page amongst other computer social and literate activities. Terry has a problem with society in general. He thinks he has a valid opinion, when he doesn’t, not under his present condition. He cannot wait his turn in a queue like the rest of us can. He pretends he doesn’t need to queue and those of us that do are just fools that adhere to “the system”. “We’re all mugs that need a good kicking”, says Terry. Terry couldn’t kick his way out of a wet paper bag, or a wet card-board box maybe more fitting, and he knows that after sleeping in so many. When Terry is presented with a form to fill out he inevitably takes the form away with him from the professionals desk, say, the DHSS office for example, with all good intentions. He will nod in approval to the professional employee who smiles at him while encircling with a red pen the important areas that must be completed. The governmental employee means well and really is trying to help Terry, but unfortunately has more chance of winning the lottery than actually making a difference in Terry’s maladjusted life. Terry will treat the form like an important contract, which will sit in his inside pocket of his torn and very large jacket where it will be locked away and kept dry. Over the following few days the form will gather stains and creases, and eventually be lost amongst all the other bits and pieces of Terry’s ripped up world.

Terry has two scenarios (no choices). The first is he must hit rock bottom and blurt out his truth about how he can’t cope, and how he is so frightened of everything. The second is to continue as he is, simple. Most of us ex-drunks who find faith have never been anywhere near the rock bottom Terry must hit. Mine was a holiday in comparison.

My first encounter with Terry was quite a drab affair. I was sober, at last, and he was drunk, so drunk he could hardly stand. He smelt bad too, and some of the others in this particular get-well together meeting were sick and tired of his antics. Every time he turned up to a meeting something bad happened triggered by his abuse. On the odd occasion fists were thrown, but that was very rare. On other occasions the police were called, but that was rare too. Once I called an ambulance after he had had an alcoholic seizure. He was taken to hospital and kept in for a few days. Terry had no interest in sobering up and only attended meetings for a hot coffee, biscuits and the odd rumble in the recovery jungle. The more sober members asked him to leave due to Tradition 3 suggests “the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking”, and Terry lacked that in abundance. Terry was a real drunk, a homeless down and out, unlike the rest of us who frequent AA meetings in Southend On Sea Essex, who have a chunk of relatively good sobriety. Many of us nevertheless grew to like Terry and often shared a cigarette with him after the meeting.

Terry first realized that he had a drinking problem at the age of fifteen. By eighteen his parents had him removed from their home after he had threatened to kill them both while they slept. On one occasion he was seen stabbing the kitchen tabletop with a large knife gripped in his left hand, while grasping an even larger a bottle of vodka in his right. There was no way he was going to let them take it from him. The police were called and Terry was removed once again. After a brief respite where guilt became too much for his parents, he was allowed to move back in. New rules were laid down and agreed, only for Terry to break them within a week, which spelt his removal from home once again by the police. Terry’s illness is so profound he seemed to be out of reach to anyone who attempts to help him. After two weeks of sleeping on friend’s sofas his homeless career began.

After one particular Saturday morning AA meeting held at the Bellevue Baptist church in Southend-On-Sea, Terry asked me to wait with him for his parents to turn up. They were bringing him some new clothes. We chatted idly, I had very little to say to Terry after seeing him in this situation for over a year. My basic and fearful Spirit had run dry. The Jesus I hoped for had left the building. His parents couldn’t take him back anymore because the same old same old kept repeating itself. A car turned a corner and his father got out and handed Terry a bag of clothing with an envelope full of money. A few pleasantries were swapped and his parents were gone. The looks on their faces was devastating to see. They were as hopeless against alcoholism as the alcoholic. Within the next two years Terry became a member of 3 churches all of which found him a flat, furniture, company, love, some money and guidance on how to join society, and yet Terry still could not cope and returned to the streets. Over the years there have been professional therapists, doctors, nurses, hospitals, charities, people of faith and nothing worked.

Terry was found dead in Sainsbury’s car park after overdosing on drugs. A few years have passed now and I often wonder what else I could have done to save him. Terry’s heart just stopped beating after being saturated with heroine. The papers wrote an article about him and showed pictures of his friends with sad faces, and that’s the end of Terry. God bless.
God thoughts. No more Negatives

14/12/2025

11 How do we remove the negative thoughts that are in your head?  Discuss what negativity breeds in life. By Graham Hevey

Throughout much of the day negativity, stress and worry gathered around me like members of the same gang, all wearing similar jackets with the word fear written on the back. I struggled with such demons, because they were initiating me as a member. They niggled and eventually buried me amongst the shadows like walking down a dark alley moving further and further away from the light.

I can deal with this was drummed into me when all I needed to do was admit that I couldn’t, as a start anyway.

Before ending my search with Jesus, I began my day with all kinds of negative thoughts, which bred failure as my lot.

Nowadays it seems rather strange, thinking back, that I took on my negative attitude like a sparring partner squaring up to a full-length mirror readying for today’s fight. With only myself in the room, taking my stance with a deep breath before looking at my reflection, and off I’d go readying to tackle the day. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do, battle our demon’s day by day?

‘Ok, I can do this’, and with clenched white knuckles I’d carry on and on telling myself of all the things I could do rather than listening to my head telling me of all the things I couldn’t.

A new day with everyday battles raging in my head,..again.

It was going to be fine,..eventually.

I had a counsellor guiding me toward positive ways of thinking, so I thought!

Ground hog mornings, here we go again!

Sometimes while wrestling with my-self, my lips would move slightly to the rhythm of my thoughts! Overthinking of some sort I suppose. A few times a close friend approached me to explain, ‘hey, you are talking to yourself’.

“Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me! (Romans 7: 20-23)

To get rid of the negativity I decided to seek out professional psychological help. Paying for professional counselling certainly worked for a while, until I read an article about how paying money makes us insistent that our counselling sessions are working, even when they’re not we convince ourselves otherwise. Buyer’s remorse is simply denied by those who are already filled with thoughts that everything is wrong anyway. Surely, we must get something right!! It’s far easier to boast that your counsellor is simply brilliant and how s/he says stuff that is just dandy.

We can boast further how we found such a clever professional person through a particular set of clever friends that we met in a place where cleverness is expected, and much of the time pretended. It seemed all I spoke back then was utter nonsense, like for example, telling friends in the pub how I met intellectual friends in the library; and I wondered why my boozy friends of yesteryear threw back their heads in laughter.

The primary idea offered by professional counsellors is to teach how we can live with negative thoughts by swashbuckling them into some kind of positive shape.

To be honest, none of my counselling sessions worked in the slightest.

The Scriptures on the other hand describe how a change of heart equals a conversion within the core centre of a person. Without the ability to recognize real spiritual freedom, how are we to know what to expect?

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5: 17)

It’s rather like emptying out all those negative mental pockets that we have tucked away in the labyrinth of our minds. We then cash them in for a new set of thoughts withdrawn from God’s bank, which is stored up with an abundance of love, faith, hope and all the fruits of the Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galations 5: 22-23)

To walk in a bank hoping for a solution on how to pay our creditors, only to walk out free of all debts. That’s the Jesus bank. That’s what He does, frees us from debt (sin)

We cannot therefore accept negative depression at all as our own special case illness, as I did. We must give up this sickness to God via our fellow Christians and feel it dissolve into the atmosphere. We must talk depression to death where we can awake hand in hand with the resurrection of Jesus Christ. God can handle such a negative energy far better than we can. You can start by taking your mind back to when you were last free from any defective or negative thoughts.

          He called a little child to him and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me” (Matthew 18:1–5)

It was through scripture, which initially was read aloud by other Christians, where hope and love was delivered until I could feed myself the word of truth.

So clean house! Make a clean sweep of malice and pretense, envy and hurtful talk. You’ve had a taste of God. Now, like infants at the breast, drink deep of God’s pure kindness. Then you’ll grow up mature and whole in God.
(1 Peter 2: 1-3)

Keeping with the faith and to clean house so to speak, we must discuss with one another about any negative doubts that we may have. Always remember that the demonic self will return with 7 friends more wicked that the last.

When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.” (Luke 11: 24-26)

We must remain amongst Christians, read Scripture, and be part of a church where the love of God is realized through Jesus, Amen.

When reading the Bible further, I often come across scripture that reminds me of my past, like when paying the counsellor, what was I really looking for? The truth will set you free was still far from my grasp.

Peter answered: “May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord in the hope that he may forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin (Acts 8: 20-23)

When approached by a Christian colleague who saw, before my journey to faith, that I was captive to my bitter self, he explained selflessly that perhaps I could take on board some help from his church friends who would guide me to faith, or at least away from my thinking. My answer however was to boast on social media how I unfriended that colleague who failed to accept me on face value, for who I am, or was. It is rather uncanny how the very person who vexed my Spirit is the friend I got rid of. Say ‘nice things’ or jog on was my stance.

Looking back, all I wanted was to change my way of thinking for another way that I may think, if that makes sense. Rather like taking a different path one day, only to find that that walk too has its problems.

Fine, I’ll just take many different paths where I could skate around the surface of society looking down each avenue while toying with varying groups and counsellors alike. Always moving on, particularly after noticing that Christians appear to empathize more meaning when they ask ‘how are you’? They look at you in freeze frame and wait for an answer further than the word ‘fine’. Christians, I found shortly before I became one, made for awkward moments without feeling the awkwardness themselves. The Christian, on most accounts, failed to acknowledge the clumsiness in me and carried on with their thoughtful and meaningful approach. They seemed to stand firm and stare right at me with clear, pleasant and sparkling eyes. ‘How are you’? which would make me fold and, after a few minutes of stillness, spill out my ‘stuff’ that was in my garbage truck head

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love (1 Corinthians 16: 13-14)

Every Sunday I would be invited to the smaller house groups that the church held during the week where the scriptures would be discussed. After agreeing, I would fail to turn up. One day however, I arrived to one particular house group and I’ve never looked back. The group prayed for me with hands on and something hit me hard, like a gravity making me sit down, where I simply could not get up out of my seat for around two hours. When I did finally stand, I never really felt quite right to drive home. Being drunk with the Holy Spirit changed my life Amen. Thanks be to God that was over twenty years ago.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:1-2)

The truth is, I never planned or expected that to happen, which intrigues me still to this day. Having never experienced such things how could I pretend something so alien to me. This was not a case of ‘fake it to make it’. This was a real happening that had no planning from my part at all. To act out such a moment is doable but acting was not the case. It is not in my nature to act out such an impression, it just happened.

Before meeting with Christ the self-invented me took on counselling, reading inspirational books, lighting spiritual candles and even attempted meditation and some kind of prayer, which allowed me to have a spiritual opinion that rebutted my search for the truth. Joining a 12 step ‘spiritual but not religious’ camp gave me intellectual instructions on how to rid myself of this nagging pessimism that was staining my mind. Ofcourse nothing happened, how could it? Who on earth was I praying to, I have no idea? These kind but lost souls were professional people who, like me, lacked the ability to deal with such negative vibes that were being deposited by us all. We only feigned love and positivity. Arguments evolved where cracks appeared in our so-called spiritual armour, and we had nothing to fill it with. There were many Goliaths and no David. No one to throw stones to break down our egoic attitudes.

Our bookshelves lacked sufficient literary and scriptural support too. For such a small group of desperados we needed much more than the so called spiritual and self-help books that we borrowed from each other.

After years of searching and finding very little, my negativity began to weigh me down like I had to contend with more gravity than the rest of us. It hunched me over, made me look at the ground much of the time. To be sure, I used to find coins because my head was always looking down at the pavement.

While amongst the intellectuals and spiritualists I imagined myself in the fields of tranquillity under the DVD sound of running water. On one occasion my so-called spiritual friends hired a church hall to spread the word of their delightful findings in hope to invite people to dance with the real spirit, whatever that was. We grew to around 15 of us who banged the drum, literally, and lit candles and hummed to songs about earth, water and fire. It all got too much for me and another person who was there. We both ran out from the camp-fire while laughing hysterically, like lost hyenas. I became physically and mentally sick and fortunately never returned. During this episode God was looking after me and I never even knew.

Throughout this search the professional counsellors also tried their utmost to show interest and constantly surprised me with their very clever sentences that really meant nothing after only a few days, even after a few moments some were forgotten already.

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”(1 Corinthians 13: 1)

The following day I could hardly remember what they had said at all. The narrative therefore was flimsy, which allowed me to keep my distance and play around with what-ever concepts we focused upon on any given day. Rules, drink diaries, busy days with outings, library visits and a lists of things to do would help me add structure to my life, so they honestly believed. In our groups we were told to lose our negative thoughts by, say, concentrating on a flower for example. Really, trying to find room for a flower in my junk yard head that was crammed full to breaking point with my own dysfunctional thoughts. How can I then think of a flower with all else disturbing my mind?

Without having Jesus shift my consciousness there was scant chance of any light entering into the equation to keep the flower alive.

The truth be known, most of the spiritualists and counsellors concentrated on the negative thoughts themselves being the adverse energy source within the person. Negativity therefore equals energy. In truth however, the destructive energy comes from a much deeper source that cannot be controlled or indeed contained, by our own good ideas. The negativity is not the energy itself, only the results of the energy within. Countering negative thought cannot be achieved by attempting to replace them with flowering positive thoughts no matter how much you try. I am not fooled anymore! Like my shadow boxing we spent so much time fighting our own ego, which paradoxically is the energy that would have killed us. To be-rid ourselves of negative thoughts our egos must be obliterated, which is the part we cannot do in totality without God. To release ourselves from all our past failures and future impossibilities we must look to God and seek out His help.

“But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic”. (James 3: 14-15)

“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you”. (1 Peter 5: 10)

God’s word is filled with truth and life. When in and amongst the Bible we can find who we actually are and what we can amount to with His power. Therefore, we must constantly meditate on His word and use it to fight any negativity that resides in us. The power of God is far more resilient than anything our heads can gather up. When using the Word of God as a weapon to fight back we will win our minds back. Rely on Him who has all knowledge and power and He will get your thinking to a far better place.

Where is the tangible evidence for this, why am I talking up such belief?

The evidence is inside a church near to where you live. Go there once and you may leave with a resentment, or not. But go again and again and eventually you will meet a small group of Christians who will guide you toward God’s thinking. You will see the world and universe and that important part that you play within it as viable and real. You will see much further than your own thinking can allow. All that ‘stuff’ you had before will leave you alone. You may get demonic attacks over the following few weeks, but stay close and speak to Christians, have scripture read to you and read yourself, receive prayer without fail and attend until you yourself can begin a small cell group to do the same for others. I pray that you do not full into the category of that special case illness where you too, as I did, think you can learn to live with it and without God.

God bless                                                         Graham Hevey
If God promises a new heart, how does this happen?

11/12/2025

A leather-bound Bible was hurled through the air, and after hitting the edge of a table, it fell to the floor. I glanced under the table and saw its flimsy pages flap open and flutter until they stilled like a dying bird laying on its back. While I stared, there seemed to be a hint of life in this book called the Bible, which I had never read. No one was struck down by lightning, and we all managed to avoid plagues, at least I believe so.

This simple 3 second episode happened at East London University in 1999. I was a mature student studying for my literature degree. It was the professor who threw the Bible. Before my studies I was a bricklayer working hard on building sites throughout London, until sciatica struck, which gave me no choice but to search out a new career hence my return to education. When looking at the Bible taking its last breath while it lay upturned and flipped open on the floor, my mind flashed back to my local sweet shop, as a much younger boy, while holding my big sister’s hand.

“You can have sweets from the penny box over there” she said while my gaze was firmly fixed on the larger chocolate bars that were leaning just out of reach.

“Can have one of those”

“No, come on choose we haven’t got all day”. After making my choice we left the shop where I was more upset than when I walked in.

The situation while sat around a large table at university was similar. There it was, something I desperately needed just like that chocolate bar, which was just out of reach, for the moment anyway.

The professor had told us that we must pick a narrative from the many books that were stacked on a table that had apparently shaped society; and discuss. On the table there was approximately 25 books to choose from. The books had been tipped from a box by the professor before the lesson began. Being put in groups of four we were given an hour to present our case on why our chosen narrative is so important to society. The books on the table were from Shakespeare, Darwin, Freud, Marx, Jung, Austen, Dickens, the Bible and more grand narratives that I fail to remember. On seeing the Bible, the professor said ‘who put that there’ and with anger he threw it across the table. Similar to the sweet shop it seemed that when something is placed out of reach, I just want it more.

That professor did me a favour that day, it was clear that the Bible had a living power after all, making him behave like that. How could a man with such standing in our community do such a thing? What repelled him to act that way? Maybe it was more than just a book after all, with all that repellent energy puppeteering the professor.

My re-birth and search for a new heart began that day, although I never knew this at the time, it’s only when looking back I can see the whole picture. The spark was cracked from an angry professor throwing a Bible, and so within a few weeks I picked it up and started reading. Just like chocolate now-a-days the Bible was within my grasping.

Looking under the table that day at the Bible laying there. How was I to know of the change waiting for me. Defining evidence was not available to me at that time, only the Bible laying there spoke to me in a silent whisper.

It didn’t take much reading before I realised that to understand God’s word I would need guidance. To have Jesus transplant a new heart could only be achieved by those that already had new hearts put in place by the Spirit of Truth. People that knew the scriptures and how to take a fledgling like me through the good book with a loving and faithful understanding of the Word was paramount.

As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

(Romans 10: 15)

At the time there seemed to be something so utterly different from my own Bible reading to having the words spill out of the mouth of a mature Christian, either male or female. The Alpha course meant nothing at all until maturity took the stand where the Word came alive, literally with a heartbeat all of its own. When reading alone it was rather like listening to musical notes being played in the wrong order where nothing makes sense. We press our palms to our ears. Played in the right order by a musician however, we can feel the beat. When we learn to see that Biblical words are all in place as God had intended them to be, total coherence and oneness with the universe takes place. We sit back and listen, learn and finally read and consume.

Jesus said “where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them” (Mathew 18: 20).

The most mature of the group is not always the eldest, as in actual age, but was certainly bound in wisdom, which is a large part of an ingredient needed to sustain spiritual growth for newcomers.

That’s the Bible, where the words become tangible and alive transforming a human being from death to life, which is the change of heart. It is the re-birth and baptism that Jesus tells us about.

In John 3: 1-3 we are told

Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. ²He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him.”

³Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.^[^a^]”

The re-birth was painful, but with joy beyond measure at the end, which paradoxically was my new beginning, if you get my drift. Pain, I found out, was a touchstone to growth. To talk, declare or be resolute about anything was easy with words alone, but to feel those words deep within was the hard part, and confessing my sins or defects was certainly not stress-free either. These discussion regarding the self always materialized during the Bible study, it was how we grassed up our sin, our histories.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1: 2-3)

There is a difference to what we say comparing to what we actually mean from the heart, which is the base of all emotions. Life becomes full and justified through the depth of God’s word, which can only be loved into place by consuming Jesus on the cross. The birth is one great happening, but the death, and death on a cross at that, is all together another. Many psychologists, 12 step programs and even Christians miss the glory through the gory details of Jesus on the cross. Without the Cross we have nowhere to lay our sins. Jesus gave us our sorrowful place where we could lay down our old lives and pick up the new with Jesus resurrection. He died, we die. He lives, we live. There is no other way. Noone gets to the father accept through Jesus (find quote)

One young lady had prayer and had changed, or born again if you prefer, in one night never to drink again. I myself never took another sleeping tablet, or pills to put a swerve on my alcoholism, it all stopped with a change of heart that became shaped and filled with God’s word. It all stopped when the Bible started a new rhythm in my physical and mental being.

The new heart transplant boomed a new story in my chest. I hope one day to look under a microscope and see the infinitesimal atoms that I breath in are formed like micro letters, all travelling around my body in the shape of the right words being placed in the right order by the Holy Spirit. Jesus was the Word made flesh (John 1), which allows my heart to be made up of His words Amen.

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
(Hebrew 4: 12-13)

When asked what happened to me and how do I look so different? I always suggest find a home group from within a solid church where a small assembly can meet up weekly to study God’s word, to pray and to have fellowship with other Christians.

Re-learning is key, and to do this we must listen like a child first in school.

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. ³And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. (Mathew 18: 2-3)

My inner self had been emptied out, so I was in one sense running on empty. With a feeling of exposure like being stripped where the cold wind can bite at your skin. It is certainly not good to remain in this exposed state for long, so best get on with your studies and re clothe yourself in God’s garments.

⁴³“When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. ⁴⁴Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. ⁴⁵Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. (Mathew 12: 43-45)

After my baptism it became clear that the devil wanted to keep me in my sinful flesh, and I wanted out. To manage this, I had to stay close to the scriptures and always attend church and my house group, which seemed to combat the fragmented left-overs of my old self, commonly known as sin.

That book that looked alive on the university floor had more life than anything I had ever experienced.

When we are born again, God gives us a new heart. The power of the Holy Spirit changes our hearts from our own words to God’s words.

How can you pray that someone with a hardened heart reaches repentance?

https://www.takebackyourtemple.com/ministering-hard-heart-prayer/ THIS IS FANTASTIC

26I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. ²⁷And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. (Ezekiel 36:26)

Noone in my house group are perfect. We still can ramble on in our sinful flesh, and bound ourselves up with our own ‘good ideas’. The freedom to choose whether or not to obey God’s word raises its ugly head in one guise or another. It slides in our thoughts like the genesis serpent.

However, when Jesus died for us on the cross, He broke the power of sin that controls us (Romans 6:10). Receiving Him as our Savior gives us access to God and His power—a power to transform our hearts from sin-hardened to Christ-softened. When we were separated from God with hardened hearts, we found it impossible to please Him. We tended toward selfishness, rebellion, and sin. With new hearts we are declared righteous before God (2 Corinthians 5:21). The Holy Spirit gives us a desire to please God that was foreign to us in our hardened state. 2 Corinthians 3:18 says that we “are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” God’s desire for every human being is that we become like His Son, Jesus (Romans 8:29). We can become like Jesus only when we allow God to rid us of our old, hardened hearts and give us new hearts.

Reading through my bible the word sacrifice has a myriad of meanings. Some sacrifices appear harsh and plain evil, others are more of a tradition where an animal suffers terribly. Throughout the Old Testament there is an array of actions that marry the sacrifice of, let’s say a goat for example, where the blood is spilt here and the body parts displayed there at the alter and burnt offerings are eaten within a certain time frame by a selected group.

But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. (Luke 8: 15)

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God (collosians 3: 16-17)

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? ²By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? ³Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. (Romans 6: 1-4)

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